Friday, March 13, 2009

My input regarding the latest shoud.

First of all - there IS a difference between being plugged in to the shoud as it happens and reading it some time after. Although maybe the former is more powerful because I'm also looking at Geoff and I know that it is happening "now". Because I was also able to feel Tobias/Geoff from the latest Newsletter.

I am very delighted that I WAS able to feel the difference between Kuthumi's and Toby's energy.

Anyway, my input on the "doesn't matter". For me it is another step towards liberation and self love. And I don't perceive this message as "nothing matters" but as: "you can have what you want no matter what". Or: "the external circumstances do not POINT at a specific outcome". Or: "outside state of things, your past, your present, the momentary does not define who you are". I also did not "panic" when I heard that Tobias was speaking about "negative" stuff that may happen. (a) It doesn't HAVE to happen (b) "negative" and "positive" are the matter of perception. Just this Thuesday I sat with my family and we noted how the "negative" stuff that we experienced only added to us. And there was also an example of a young person, who despite having what one would define as "non positive" life experience showing himslef as a kind-hearted one.

I personally, and also my family, have experienced many crysises from a very young age. What it taught me personally was not to be scared so much of life and to be more "instrumentative" in my approach and not to sink into emotions such as depression and self-hate. But I learned it only when I've been through it.

Back to "it doesn't matter". Let us look at what "does" matter. These are: one's age, gender, level of education, physical attractiveness, amount of wealth, weight, height, personality traits, agreeableness, temperament, past history, physical surroundings and the list goes on and on. All these are considered factors in the well being of our living and in our chances to get what we want. And if these that was have are considered not good enough, we are not allowed to LOVE nor these traits and neither US - the posessors of these traits. We are supposed to hide them, get rid of them, change them, transform them....because they are UNWORTHY. And unworthy =/= love.

How can I apply this "principle"? Apart from stopping being angry at a relative who treats me like some mutation. I noticed that I carry a lot of fear within me. And, interestingly, it is a fear of how people will treat me. Or in general, what will happen to me because my life does not fall into the "classic" pattern of success. Seems that I chose this lifetime to prove myself that none of that matters :D and I am aware of that very much. But I still have this fear, despite "proving" myself that none of this affects my well being unless I choose to = make myself miserable that something is wrong.

If nothing matters, I am allowed to LOVE everything, even if it is defined as ugly, unworthy or simply bad. I can stop being scared of what might happed to me (besides from me creating it) - nothing "bad" can happen to me. Nothing can "make" me "unworthy". Etc. :D

My habit of living (and not only mine) was/is to think that unless my life fits certain standards, it's "not ok". And that our goals should be set towards making it okay first and only then to express ourselves. Okay, that was my feeling. Now I feel that it is not necessary. I feel a strong urge to stop creating the mindset of "less" and "not enough". That it doesn't matter the amount of products that I produce to make it a "successful" day. I feel that I can simply make whatever actions I want, to expand however I want etc, just because I want.

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