Friday, March 27, 2009

I think I'm integrating something

because I am clearly feeling all my ego energies surfacing and moving to the side. I feel now the "bringing to the core" and the opening to more love. I could clearly sense the love for myself and how I can get to this place. 
I don't want to say that the ego-way of doing things is wrong and that I am switching to something right. Nor do I want to give up my drive for achievement. I just want to put it into a better perspective. I don't want to evaluate myself based on my achievements, or, experiences is a better word. And I don't want to call one experience an achievement and another failure and I can't live anymore by denying myself the experiences that I want and trying to have them the old way. It just doesn't work anymore. At least for me. And I can't have all the experiences that I want the old way. I can't focus on something one and neither can I go into several directions simultaneously, because in the old world they simply do not coexist together. So I have to bring everything to the core and then let the energy bring me all ... my precious :D *insert diabolical laughter here*
And I also have these flu symptoms...better be the spiritual one.
I really really feel that I am releasing my attachments to the outer circumstances, to the definitions of these outer circumstances and to the need to control them with my mind. 

What would I like to do and to have?
- I want to be safe
- I want all my needs to be realized. I don't want to spend my time being busy providing my resources so I can express myself. I choose to be served always and I choose my needs always be fulfilled and all the resources that I will ever require to be available to me.
- I want to have a family of kind spiritted people. I want to allow myself to be in the New Energy with people I love and who also think like me. My friends. I want to enjoy being with my family and I want to enjoy my husband and my children (future).
- I also choose to end the experience of feeling miserable. I choose to consciously know that I am an all powerful creator. Who can also create misery :D
- I also want to channel my Atlantean knowledge. Or any inter dimensional knowledge that I might have and am afraid to express. My mind has no knowledge of even being in Atlantis. But I do feel something scientific, sci-fi and powerful. If there is a knowledge that I have and it can be used, I do choose it to be channeled here. 
- Continuing the previous: I choose to be realized career wise. The best possible way. WITHOUT making sacrifices like not having a family. THAT IS ALSO OVER! I want everything and I want it the best possible way for me. Which kinda puts an end to my victim moods...oh well, everything's gotta end somewhen.

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