happened to me yesterday, after I learned that my current job might last only for another month and not for another 5 months as I was originally told. I did get upset at first, but then I got angry and told myself "I'm gonna make it through! I'm gonna live!". And then I felt SO MUCH LOVE for myself. That I deserve to live. That no matter who I am and what I am and what my life looks like I DESERVE to LIVE and I deserve all the possible love and compassion in the universe. I am connected to this feeling again, as I am writing this entry. I am literally feeling love at the heart center and at the rest of my body.
This feeling that I am loved and that I deserve to live and have everything that I ever need is not trivial. I sensed very clearly how I have always felt that "it is not a big deal" if I will not live. I was not important enough to myself. What mattered was that I have the right life, if I am the right thing. If I am not - I might or even better not to live at all. I do not want to consider this point of view as "wrong", because, after all, I chose to have this experience but this is how I felt: that my story is more important and more valuable than my life. Pluto, you're doing it right! :D But we can take it to the next level, methinks and hopes ♥
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