Sunday, April 19, 2009

Since I fail at working today I might as well report that I was GOBAVed!

With much subtlety and elegance, but I was. I can't even say it was Kuthumi - I have the channeling - I kinda think it was me, or me+Kuthumi because I did definitely feel that things shifted ever since I contemplated this channeling. I don't know, it is so interesting, I can clearly see now the frames of my victim mode which I couldn't before.
Sir Kuthumi actually did something new - according to the channeler. He stated that we - the channeler, him and I - know each other from a past life so it's no accident that we had this meeting. After pondering some time about this piece of info and wondering about its relevancy to the message, I suddenly realized that in one case when I asked to tell me the past life "story" that connects me to certain people, I was "denied" it, but yet it's a third time already that my past life is mentioned without me asking for it. The first two times mentioned Atlantis, and the first time I was even so "rude" that I asked whether Atlantis was the only inhabitable place on Earth at that time since everybody and their wife seemed to live there :D As a side note - with the option that I'm overthinking it - now I'm surprised at my own reaction, because I'm quite curious about any piece of info regarding my other-than-present deeds, even if I did something "bad". Therefore, I now wonder whether I just don't WANT to hear about Atlantis. Especially when my reaction towards Kuthumi's info was "yeah, sounds plausible :D". And now that I think of it, Tobias was mentioned to know me as well...   I didn't take it seriously though. But I remember now reading a New Age book of a Russian author, who was very very excited seeing Kuthumi (so she claims :D) in a meditation. He touched her 3rd eye area. So she was touched by Kuthumi ("Touched by an angel", yes? :D) So I was like: hm, I know important But ... I kinda can't connect to this style of thinking...maybe it's Kuthumi thing, but what was really nice to me is that he said that in this lifetime in which we knew each other we liked to laugh together (on a platonic basis, so it seems :D), as also with his current channeler. That we were friends. And I just thought that it would be nice that the reason that I'm attracted to Shaumbra is because I recognize my long time friends. And even: maybe Kuthumi decided to share this piece of info just because he recognized a friend. Which reminded me that the second time Atlantis was mentioned was in context of my angel group saying that some of them actually were with me there. So...I was like, wow, I have so many friends?....that love me?
This might seem stupid, but in my 3D life I don't have many friends, and I'm quite a solitary person, so I get quite surprised every time I discover that people actually like me or that I know someone from milti-D realms. And that's the GOBAVish thing that I was talking about :D That's (another) the place where my mental frames fire up. I am very used used to thinking that I'm (1) unlikeable and (2) not that important because I posess the undesireable features xyz and lack the desireable features abc. And I refused to let go of this mindset, until my latest interaction with the ex-Indian-Shah-who-built-the-Taj-Mahal when I thought "wow, I'm...more than I consider myself to be..." yeah... I still have to breathe on that.

And I really need to find out now who was this soul that was Kuthumi's wife in his "Taj Mahal" lifetime! The magnificent mausoleum was erected, after all, in her honor!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

It's this time again?

When I absolutely have no idea what to do or where to go. I do have a general direction what to do with my studies, but it seems that I've hit that spot again where I don't know how to make my life better from where I stand. And my life is not yet at the point where I am happy with it. In addition, I am very tired from all my experiences. Playing the part of the "weird" one is quite interesting but not easy, especially when it comes to interaction with the "normal" people. In addition it is also extremely tiring to constantly be at a place where you don't resonate with your surroundings. In addition I am at the spot when I don't know how to balance my own personality ... ehm, let's call them unique characteristics. Right now I am done with realizing that there is nothing "wrong" with me and I want to "do something" about myself. 
I suspect that this stuff came up after reading the Abraham book, since the same thing happened the first time I read it too. Maybe it's because it made me realize where I'm being unloving to myself, so all this stuff came up. Actually it was always there lurking at the background, but right now it's just my face.
I'm arranging myself my yearly channeling :D Seems that I now have a habit of arranging myself a channeling session once a year :D Will be waiting for the next week for the salary to get in and then I'll be bringing it into physical.
So silly. When thinking of what exact issues would I like to bring to the channeling, I caught myself that I am trying to "say it right". That I know that it was I that created it...and that it is my responsibility....and that I should not focus on details...bullshit. My human part right now is crying for attention and for resolving painful issues and I feel that this is again disrespect of myself that I try to sound "all spiritual" instead of saying exactly how I feel. I am also quite sure that Kuthumi goes and chats with my non-3D parts before delivering the info to me, so it is I that I'll ultimately be talking to, so who am I kidding? I mean, speaking of games, the "spiritual" talk is the same game as all other games. Aren't we here to feel? Aren't we here to experience pain as well? Aren't we humans, goddammit? What we're doing is telling the human part to STFU. And it is as good as the rest of us. I won't use the word "Divine", cause everything is the same primal essence and there is no such "thing" as Divine - it's only a virtual concept.
I can't help it. I come from atheistic background. And I am quite tired trying to squeeze my perception of life into mindframes. There is some primal, basic essence which is all-present. And that's it. IMO we should invent a more objective name for it.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

A very honest post - part1/??

I don't really know where to start, I had a realization two days ago, when attending a pre-Passover evening of my workplace. We were given a lecture about Theodor Hertzl, the person who was one of the major figures (if not the major) in rebuilding the current state of Israel. 

The lecture was given is a different POV from the usual historical presentation: the lector was interested in what had motivated an ordinary person, not very much connected to his Jewish roots, a man with a job and a family, to suddenly stand up and initiate a great movement. And not just initiate it in spirit, but also in action. So he tried to focus on "the power of an individual to change", which was very interesting. 

Now, the main motivation for Hertzl to propose that the Jews would have their own state was not in order to resurrect some old belief system. It was in order to find a solution to the problem of antisemitism which grew to national proportions. And btw, according to the lector, one of the first solutions that Hertzl thought of was a mass conversion of Jews to Christianity. However: he understood that it won't work. Not only because the Jews won't do it. 

One of the major events that contributed to Hertzl's life path was the trial of Dreifus, which he was sent to cover (Herzl was a journalist). It struck him, that as Dreifus was going through the humiliating ceremony of expel from the army (or however it is called in English :D ), he was shouting "Vive la France", when the gathered mob was shouting "kill the Jews". Hertzl was amazed both at how one strongly and naively believed in the state that betrayed him only because of his race and at the magnitude of the people's hate, who were ready to kill someone based on his race only.

Now, that brings me to the issue that stirred inside of me (and no, it wasn't the dinner :D ): the issue of one's pride of themselves. Not necessarily of being proud because we are better than others, but a healthy sense of pride. The sense of pride - and the basic primal "right" to be who you are.

I have a problem with how the concept of "politically correct" is sometimes used. When it is used to imply that people who are different from some "standard" have to give up their individual attributes. Especially, when the motivation is "the greatest good".

Or many times we are ready to give up the dark parts of us.

At that lecture, and couple of days later, I realized that my experience in Israel (the one that I'm aware of) is exactly about that: accepting one's individuality and one's basic, primal, rights.

To be continued.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Divinity in action lol! :D

I've just submitted a request for completion of my degree via the comp. The message said that it was submitted at 12:12:12! :D (12hours:12minutes:12seconds) How cool is that! :D

Googled numer 12 at numerology to find out what exactly it's about and found this:

Twelve is the number of what is completed, which forms a whole, a perfect and harmonious unit. In the ancient civilizations, like Oriental and Judaic, it corresponds to the plenitude, the completion and the integrality of a thing.

So yay! Divine completion to a very meaningful and interesting time ♥